The Dog

Posted: September 5, 2008 in Minnie and Me

The dog I was talking about just got spayed last week. So now the dog that I didn’t want, but now like, has cost me a car payment already. We didn’t know she needed to be fixed until we had her for a couple of weeks and she started humping everything from her bed to my kneecap. It was definitely an unexpected expense. And then they wanted more money for shots and pills and doggy therapy (she tries to attack other dogs). And then they suggested that she get a haircut and her nails done. This is a freaking dog that we’re talking about here.

While the dog is comfy in her little bed at night, I’m outside sleeping in the car making sure it doesn’t get repossessed.

We decided to give the dog a haircut ourselves. We watched countless grooming videos on YouTube. We were ready. One of us held her down while the other started up the electric clippers. Who knew that those suckers would take off so much hair in one swipe! But we started to get a little better after screwing up her front-left side. We did her in quarters: front-left; front-right; back-left; and back-right. We saved the head and tail for last.

So actually we did her in sixths. The videos never once mentioned this approach so we’re thinking that we may be on to something cutting edge (pardon the pun). Once we can master getting all six areas looking the same, we’ll think about a YouTube video of our own.

I was mostly the scissors guy. I couldn’t handle shaving around the anus and the (you know- the female part). And that’s when I discovered that the freaking dog had like six nipples. OMG, SIX of them- maybe even more… I didn’t bother to count. I had been rubbing her belly since we got her and thought maybe it was just clumps of tangled hair. But the whole time I was rubbing her nipples. I was totally freaked out.

Well her face was the toughest part of all. I didn’t want to be responsible for her losing an eye. And after awhile she seemed to sense that there was some level of danger involved so she stayed very still. The ears were also tough. It was a little difficult figuring out where exactly the cartilage ended and the hair began. She actually looked a little cuter (at least from the neck up) when I had finished with her.

For the next few days I kept the scissors close by because whenever I was petting her I’d notice a high area or a clump that we missed. Her nails were a different story. Let me tell you, if you snip one too short, they will let you know! You only want to get the very tip of the nail. Cutting it too short can cause bleeding.

So like I said in my first post… I now love this dog. And I find myself petting other dogs, even the ugly ones. She does have a problem being around other dogs though and I’ll need to Google that to find out what to do about it. If you have any low-cost solutions please let me know. I can’t even take her out in public without her barking at everything that moves.

Now I’m wondering if I can find doggy vaccines on-line and give her shots on my own.


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