I want the dog to run away. I love her but she barks at every little thing. I tried putting her outside without a leash. She ran across the street and I thought she was gone. But she went poop instead and ran back looking for a treat.
I work from home a lot and it’s hard when I’m on the phone and doggy barks-a-lot starts to freak out because a car drives by the house.
This dog can walk like a human. I’m serious. She takes four and five steps at a time when she gets excited. I keep telling her to run away and join the circus. There are other animals there. She’ll have much more in common with them.
But then she starts acting cute and thinking that I actually like her. Lately she’s been jumping on me while I’m on the couch with my laptop. And her paws land on the keys and she thinks she’s typing. Her first sentence was “wefhgd bgvh pklio”. I think she’s trying to tell me something.
I just want her to run far, far, away. I don’t like dogs. Not even cute little ones with eyes that glow in the dark or sit on the chair next to you watching as you type. I don’t like the snuggling and licking when I’m trying to watch TV.
Run away dog. I’ve had enough barking for today. Just don’t go too far away.