The Presidential Debate

Posted: October 8, 2008 in Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah, Politics
Tags:

 John McCain  Republican Vs. Democrat  Barack Obama

 

The anticipation is excruciating. The debate is about to begin. I am going to comment on it as it takes place.

 

I want to see how I judge the candidates before being told how I should.

 

Oh jeez… I already can’t understand Brokaw. Who the hell dressed this guy asking the first question? Look, there’s a fat, bald-guy section in the front.

 

Very nice color scheme Barack. McCain moves like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz before they oiled him. No wait, he moves like a marionette puppet. Pull the strings and make him move. I know, I know, he’s a war hero. I’m sorry.

 

Fanny and Freddie… haaaaaaaaa! Fanny, fanny, fanny… John keeps saying fanny. Obama throws the first jab, questioning McCain’s past voting history.

 

That was a little condescending. McCain looks at Obama and calls him, “my friend”, almost like saying, “hey bucko”.

 

Yes Barack, health deductibles ARE going UP. That’s where Aflac comes in. Aflac… Aflac… Aflaaaaaaaaaac!!!

 

I wonder where Sarah is watching this from. She’s probably in her jammies snuggling with Todd on their couch.

 

Brokaw is getting a little pissed about the time situation. Chill Tommy… go with the flow baby.

 

What is up with the freaking projector? John’s really harping on how Barack paid too much for one. Lots of talk about earmarks… fannies and earmarks.

 

Barack is wondering how we can save money on fuel in our homes. That’s easy over here. We’re just not going to buy any oil. We’re going to burn our furniture in the fireplace. That should save quite a bit of fuel.

 

John’s getting a little excited now. Watch it John… you almost just tipped over. Tom’s getting mad again.

 

Wow… I just dozed off for a second… sorry about that. I’m going to get a little cup of ice cream. I’ll be right back.

 

OK I’m back. These guys aren’t playing by the rules. OMG John just called Barack “that one”. I’m not sure I like his tone when referring to him.

 

Health care again… yes, yes, yes… small businesses, higher co-pays, wellness benefits… this could be an Aflac commercial.

 

I like Obama’s health care plan a little better. Oh wow, McCain is being very sarcastic. I wonder if he ever gets stuck on his back when he’s in bed. Have you ever had that dream? The one where you can’t move? It just seems like he’d have trouble rolling over.

 

This war thing is a freaking mess isn’t it? Good job striking back Barack! This is getting stupid now. John McCain is saying that he’ll get bin Ladin. He says he knows how to get bin Laden. He knows how to get him? Well Jesus, John… why don’t you let somebody know NOW before he freaking attacks us again?

 

I’m going to bed. I guess I WILL wait for the pundants to tell me who won this thing.  

Does anybody have any old furniture that they don’t need?  

 

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