Spoons: Our spoons are too freaking big. Not only are they too big but they are very wide. They are so wide that they cut into the corners of my mouth. I actually have a smaller than normal mouth. I’m serious. Nobody in the house believed me until the ten year-old’s orthodontist confirmed my claim. Smaller spoons please!
Lunch in Hartford: Two guys from the office went to a favorite eating spot in Hartford and asked if they would consider offering Aflac to their employees. When they were rudely turned away, they put their business cards into a box for a drawing of a lunch for ten. One of them won. They asked a bunch of us if we were able to attend and most of us are busy that day. My suggestion to them was to invite eight homeless guys and give them all an Aflac quacking duck to squeeze every five minutes from the time they walked in until the last piece of cheesecake was finished. Aflac… Aflac… Aflaaaaaaaac!!!
Red Sox fans: Oh well… at least Manny isn’t going to the World Series either. I like how Big Sloppy spits into his batting gloves before every pitch. It’s cute watching the eight year-olds at the Little League field doing the same thing. On Sunday afternoon 60% of the people I saw were wearing some sort of Sox clothing. I saw about five today. Hey the Pats won all but the last game of the season last year… that’s not too bad. You still have the Celtics. They DID win the last game of the season. The Yankees have won the last game of the season twenty-six times. In my lifetime the Yankees have been in eleven World Series and become World Champions six times. A Red Sox fan my same age got to see his team win two World Championships in five attempts.
Tired: My tongue keeps going to a really sharp part of a tooth. The only way I’m going to stop is if I go to bed now. I just had that tooth taken care of last week. I think they did it on purpose because we owe them money.
Giants: They won their very last game of the season last year.