I almost forgot the coolest thing about driving around with Joe (not his real name) on Wednesday.
He can talk to his car.
And it will listen and talk back.
If he says, call office, the freaking screen on the dashboard asks him if that’s what he wants to do and then it calls his office.
If he says, directions to 24 Main Street, the screen asks if that’s what he wants and then directs him there.
And the freaking car doesn’t need a key. It only needs to be in his pocket. When he gets close to the car, the doors unlock and then he just pushes a button inside and it starts. A push of a button also turns it off.
Oh, he can talk to his radio too and get it to go to whatever station he wants to listen to.
So today I was in my car. I didn’t like the song on the radio. I said, 105.9 FM.
I yelled it a little louder.
I missed my turn and said, Taco Bell.
I screamed, get me to freaking Taco Bell bitch!!!
I decided not to try the trick with the key staying in my pocket.
I’m thinking his car is slightly newer than mine and he paid a little extra for those features.
When I got home I said to the ten year-old, go and do your homework.
He started doing it. Whew! I couldn’t take any more rejection.
I saw the dog and said, get out of my chair.
She jumped up and ran away.
Wife got home a little later and I said, make me dinner.
She looked at me and said, go and f**k yourself.
Good thing I was in the mood for Frosted Flakes.