Plucking a nose hair will never hurt again…

I’ve always had a high threshold for pain and in the past year and a half it’s actually increased.

I should first mention that I am not comparing any of this to the grandfather of all pain: childbirth. I’ve been in the labor room four times and would never have survived being the one in the bed.

But let me tell you something. What I went through today was nothing short of cruel and unusual punishment. And it all took place in a doctor’s office.

One end of the incision on my ankle had become puffy and there was a small mass beneath the surface. Tumor Doc told me to come back if it got any worse, which of course it did.

So he starts to pull out gauze and scissors and tweezers and other things with very pointy tips on them.

He explained that one of the stitches inside of the incision had caused an absess and he needed to remove that stitch and drain the yucky stuff out.

So I waited for the needle filled with the good stuff that would numb the area. It never came.

I told him I’d enjoy the whole experience much more if I could go na-night. He said numbing it probably wouldn’t do too much considering the area he needed to work on.

He told me it would hurt a little. He was wrong. IT HURT A LOT!

He dug right in there with the sharp, pointy objects. He kept asking me if I has OK. I kept lying to him and saying that I was fine.

I wanted my mommy. I wanted a baseball bat to hit him with. I tried reaching for one of the sharp, pointy objects to stab him back with.

He kept digging and plucking and pulling and I think I cracked a couple of teeth from clenching so hard.

His nurse kept giving me looks of sympathy and I tried fantasizing that she was flirting with me. But if she had gotten close enough I’d probably have taken her hostage and made him stop the torture.

This went on for hours… or at least ten to fifteen minutes. And when he had finished, I thanked God and everyone in his circle.

The lump and mass were gone. There was a little hole where he inserted a wick so that the remaining fluid could escape the area. He wrapped the area, wrote me a prescription and sent me on my way.

So yeah… I’m resting comfortably now that I’m not being jabbed with sharp, pointy things.