Archive for May, 2009

Heading out

Posted: May 12, 2009 in Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Desperation: The act of doing things that you hate to do, like walking into businesses and asking for appointments. Add to that an ankle that hurts so badly, you can’t take a step without wincing.

Fear: The realization that if you don’t produce immediately, you will be forced into losing all that you’ve worked for.

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Well hello my little chickadees.

It’s been quite a long time since I last added a new posting. I’m not sure why the hiatus except I have felt very stressed lately.

Putting my thoughts into words usually helps to untangle the tightly spun wad of wiring that controls my emotions.

This can cause my fingertips to overload and spill words onto the keypad in a manner that very often comes across as whiny.

I’m not going to apologize for that. You have my permission to stop reading right now and I promise not to hold it against you.

(Now that they have all left, I can continue with this exercise of self-pity.)

It seems that I will be living in some sort of pain for quite a while and perhaps for always.

It hurts to walk. It hurts slightly less pedaling a bike.

Tendinitis likes to attack areas that have been manipulated or overused. My ankle falls into both of these categories.

I have a brace that barely fits under my shoes. It seems to help sometimes.

My doctor has told me to go on and live my life normally for now. He’ll be monitoring the situation very closely as there is possibly another area of concern that showed up on my CT Scan.

It may very well be nothing to worry about at all. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

Money has been another worry of mine. There’s just not enough coming in to pay the bills.

I blame myself for the hole that we are now in. Every job I’ve ever had has paid for disability insurance. I sell disability insurance. I DO NOT HAVE A DISABILITY POLICY OF MY OWN.

I was always told that if I collected disability pay, I would not be able to receive residuals or write more policies during that time. I never thought that I would hit such a rut in my business.

I’m working as hard as I can though to open new accounts. I’m also studying now for my Real Estate license and will be affiliated with a friend that owns a company in Waterbury.

Time is my enemy right now. I’m hoping that this one-two punch will come quickly enough to smack some of our bills into submission.

In the meantime I can always come here and continue to whine to myself.